Wednesday, 28 August 2013

Sarah Mae - A Writer Who Gets Me

Sometimes I lock myself in my bathroom and cry.
I do. I sob in my bathroom. Not often but once in awhile in those moments of sheer desperation, I go into our bathroom, I lock the door knowing that I have to in order to get any kind of privacy and I let loose. The hot tears spilling down my face. Pent up emotion from what feels like continual failure, disappointment and hurt.  

In those moments I pray. Prayers of gasping. "God, please help me, give me patience, let me feel your presence. Help me enjoy these days that I know are going to be gone too soon. Help me, Help me!" Even while I pray I can hear the chaos ensuing outside my sanctuary and must "soldier up" and keep going. 

It is usually on these days that my husband I have one of those talks. He is beginning to see the signs: I'm easily irritated, teary over little things or just quiet. These are  conversations where I melt in his arms and try to tell him why I am feeling so alone, desperate and at the end of my rope.  There are usually so many factors that cause one of these cry fests. Usually it is just because I am tired but add a rough day of only communicating (usually badly) with children, not feeling like I have the training to discipline them properly and the feeling like I am accomplishing nothing from all the hard work I do, and he has a mess on his hands.

The other night we were having one of these talks. I tried to verbalize to him how I was feeling without coming right out with the full truth. But something in my heart whispered, " The truth will set you free" and I finally admitted my shame to him. I told him "I don't think I have what it takes to be a mother. I am scared to even say this out loud because it sounds so terrible, but it is so hard to see more joy in the day then hard stuff. There are mornings when  I dread having to stay at home all day. I get bored playing with them, I feel like I am getting nothing done and I see the way they act and think that I am doing it all wrong. "

My husband is wonderful. He always knows exactly what to say. He thanked me for being real with him. He told me to give myself some grace because I was still learning and just held me. Then he prayed for me. Prayed that God would help me to be the mom He wanted me to be, prayed for strength and patience for me and for other moms to come alongside me and help me. I fell asleep feeling better but not really thinking anything had changed other than my attitude.

The next day I opened my email and read this blog entry from Sarah Mae's blog. Which led me to this one. I sat staring at the computer marvelling at the coincidence. Sarah's story was so like mine that I all you would have to do is change the names and it would be me. Everything I had been feeling, struggling with and longing for right there on the screen written by some one else.

At last, there was hope. The way I have been feeling is a natural process of getting rid of the bad and ugly inside of me and transforming me into God's image.  God was saying to me, "see I have created you like this, and there are others out there like you."  

I have had Sarah's book Desperate: Hope for Moms Who Need to Breathe sitting on my shelf for months. I just haven't thought I had the time to read it. I picked it up and realized I didn't have the time to not read it. I needed to read it. I needed to hear Sarah's experience. I needed to know that I was not alone.

If any of what I have written resonates with you, you need to go buy this book. For more information about this go to my GMG Blog.

Or you can visit Sarah Mae's blog here.

Wednesday, 20 February 2013

Blog Review : Counting Coconuts

My heart is beating with excitement, my fingers are glued to the mouse... I have found one of the most exciting blogs I have seen in a long time.

This is a site for all of you homeschooling moms or any moms in general who is looking for easy, quick, fun activities for your kids.

It is called Counting Coconuts and it is by a stay at home mom with two kids. It can be found here :

This mom shares my love and excitement for organisation and uses the Montessori style of teaching to aid here in making activities for her kids.
It is chalk full of amazing and fun activities. Here a couple of my favourites:

DIY Board - So simple and fun. A piece of plywood with different hardware in it. The kids get to use real tools to pound the nails, screw the screws and get some good old fashioned life skills.

Sensory Tubs - Basically a container filled with odds and ends that go along with a theme. The kids just play with it in their spare time. So awesome. Looks like it could get expensive though. I would have to be sure to just use things around the house.

Organisation - This mom has organisation down to a tee. I love it! It want to be like her someday. Her site is full of great and easy ways to stay organised not only as a homeschooling mom but ass a mom in general. This link is just a hint of all the ways she manages her house, her school and her life. Another great example is Car Boxes.

I could go on about this Blog forever. Check it out for yourself and be amazed.

Wednesday, 26 September 2012

Book Review: Be the Mom

In my short two years of being a mother, I have read many parenting books about shaping the child, Be the Mom is the first book I have found that has taught me that before I can hope to help shape my children I first need give myself over to God and have him change me. The author, Tracey Eyster writes in a style that makes me feel as though I am sitting down to tea with a friend and chatting about the joys and struggles of being a Christian mom.

Tracey introduces herself in the first chapter and lays it all out to the reader. She is vivacious and honest. She admits she doesn't have it all figured out and explains her heart to help mothers who are where she was years before. Throughout the next chapters she outlines seven traps that today's moms can find themselves in. She describes the trap, explains why it is a dangerous, offers help and encouragement to (with God's help) escape that trap and be free to be the mother God has made us.

She says, " I've exposed my shortcomings and put these hard mom lessons on paper to help you understand the truth about being a mom. You too, will become entrenched in the traps unless you draw close to God. You will be overwhelmed by the voices all around you unless you determine to stay focused on God's will for you and your family. You need to know that as you seek to obey Him, God will mold you and grow you into the powerful woman He wants you to be. I've met countless moms who have struggled with the mom traps, and as they will testify, knowledge leads to freedom" pg.150

I have left most parenting feeling confused with contradictions between one book and the next. Be the Mom clearly showed me that the first step is to look at myself; my attitude about parenting and my relationship with Christ and to go from there.

Thanks to Tyndale House for providing me with a complimentary copy of Be the Mom.

Book Review: Wait No More

Wait No More is an incredible story about how an ordinary couple became an extraordinary family. John and Kelly Rosati share their story of adoption through the trials and triumphs. In this book, the Rosati Family invite you into their lives and through their incredible journey of faith.

It was Kelly and John's desire to have children. They suffered through years of infertility, questioning God's will before they started down the road of adoption. They share openly and honestly about their experience with adopting four children iover the course of a few years through the U.S. foster care system. This book is real. They don't sugar coat the gut wrenching reality of the difficulties that come with adopting and raising their children to try to overcome the abuses they experienced in their early lives, but give glory to God through it all.

I enjoyed how candidly this family shared about their struggles and the joy of welcoming each broken child into their home. Each child had a story and in each story it was clear how God guided the child to their new parents. I have been hearing a lot about international adoption lately but not so much about adoption on the national level. Because Canada and the U.S. do not have orphanages, the process for adopting is lengthy and complicated, but this book was a good reminder that there are children everywhere looking for homes.

The final chapter of the book is about an organization through Focus on the Family that the Rosati's helped start. The "Wait No More" program is devoted to recruiting families to adopt orphans trapped in the foster care system, and supporting them through the process. This book drives home the point that although we are not all called to adopt, we are all called to care for orphans, in whatever way God asks us to.

Thanks to Tyndale House for providing me with a complimentary copy of Wait No More.